Cut Out of the Will

She groaned.  It was as though the twins within her were jockying for position.  Her nights were sleepless.  Even her servant girls could not comfort her with pillows, potions and warm concoctions.  There was a war going on within her and she was concerned that she would be the next victim in this eternal fight.

It grew worse as the days grew shorter.  In desperation, she cried out to God for help.

"Oh God, what is going on within me?  I cannot bear this pain any more.  Just kill me or save me.  One or the other right now!"

She heard that voice she knew so well breathe within her as he assured her there was nothing to fear.  For within her growing and wrangling were two nations.  Two nations where the younger would rule the elder.  The fight, he said, would extend beyond the womb.

Her days soon came to an end and she bore two baby boys.  The elder, covered in hair and red...the younger was born holding onto the heel of the first.

As is in many families the first born who was a hunter became the favorite of the father, while the younger became the favorite of the mother.  The story is familiar.

There came a day when this mother and her younger son orchestrated a deception to take the first-born blessing from the elder who had already sold his birthright to his brother for a pot of stew.  Using the failing eyesight of the father to his advantage, the younger was passed off as the elder and received the elder blessing.  When the oldest brother came in to his father for the blessings (to become head of the tribe) all he received was word that he would be a servant to the younger.

If we took this story into our day and time, the fact that they were "attached" coming out would give creedence to a joint headship.  But not so in a time where first was first and words had weight and what was said was firm and binding. 

The rest of the story is filled with more drama than any daytime soap opera and can be read in the book of Genesis.

As I was reading this story this morning, I had compassion on Esau, the elder brother for he wept bitterly when he went into his father for a blessing.  "Not fair" rings out when reading this story, but he HAD despised his birthright according to scripture and Jacob desired to have the blessing of the first born and the blessing of the father more than Esau. 

Here was Esau, his daddy's favorite.  Day in and day out I am sure the talk from Isaac was about what a great hunter Esau was and what a great Man's Man he turned out to be.  For Jacob, who was not the hairy hunter type, the desire to have his father love him in the same manner he loved Esau grew stronger each day. 

Esau knew he was Daddy's favorite and the fact he had sold his birthright to his brother was a deal made in private between the two brothers...not between he and his father.  So, in essence, Esau would not have to live up to his word because there were no witnesses...or were there. 

I thought about my own words and how glibly I have made promises and said words I didn't really mean, not realizing that my witness to each promise and word is my Father.  To become so accustomed to just saying whatever meets my needs in the circumstance is not right.  To realize that my word, my promises have weight and are not ordinary and light is important.

Perhaps, part of the lesson in this story of two brothers is understanding that our words will have a bearing on the rest of our lives even if they are whispered under our breath away from the listening ears of others.  The God of covenant and promise will always hear even if no one else does and it is He, I desire to please...hopefully above myself.

The Mark of our Winter

Sparkling snow all muddled with tracks.

Dark, wintry skies hang desperately thick.

Children forced to wear big coats and thick gloves.

Ice packed places for kids to scoot.

Old folks all nestled within for warmth.

Homeless huddling in crowded shelters.

Grocery stores buzzing as customers stock their shelves.

Shortened greetings as people rush inside.

Hair standing straight as the winds blow strong.

Hot Chocolate steaming.

The smell of fresh roasted coffee.

People moving faster than ever.

Expectant parents plotting their course to the hospital.

School delays and happy kids.

Snow Days.

Joy of having a nice warm bed.

Friends by the fireplace.

The Blessings of God.

Not poetic, yet this is what I've seen...marking our winter.

It has been over a month since I last wrote in this blog. However, I am writing in Tapestry Talk, a womens writer's group through our church. You are welcome to visit me there any time. I'll do my best to come over here and post more frequently.

His Salvation

Psalm 51 was written as a result of King David's loss of the child he and Bathsheba bore out of adultery. It is a gritty, down to earth cry to God, a declaration of His goodness and mercy and a look at the heart of a man who is desirous to move ahead.

As I was reading in this chapter this morning I was surprised when I read verse 12 where David says, "Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." (ESV) To be honest, I've always quoted this verse as...restore to me the joy of MY salvation.

Is there a difference between God's salvation and our salvation? Perhaps, you say, that my salvation is really just taking ownership of what God has given me, but I think not. When you look at the Hebrew, all of the extra words aren't even there. It reads something like "Restore(repair or renew) joy(exultation) salvation(deliverance, safety) uphold(to sustain, refresh, revive) willing(nobility, nobleness, noble deeds) spirit (wind, breath from root word meaning smell, touch, quick understanding, accept)

Jesus very name means Jehovah is salvation. All salvation comes from God. Our deliverance is not from the works of our own hands or our deeds, but through a Savior...a Deliverer.

David was saying that what he needed was to be repaired, to be as good as new again with God's joy and salvation so that he would be revived and refreshed, willing to do what God said...to do what was right. Think about this. To be re-freshed is to become fresh again.

David's poor choices with Bathsheba stunk up his life and with the death of his child, he was aware of his need to be re-freshed, like new again. Verse 7 says "Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. " You see, David knew that with God's salvation and his cleansing he would be "whiter than snow".

How excellent is God to not leave us in a state of filth...of half way being cleaned...of having to pay penance for the rest of our life. He makes us whiter than snow. Thank God for HIS SALVATION in our lives. What a good God I serve!

Repentance...Good for Someone Elses Soul

If there was anyone who was able to express the soulish feelings which came with mistakes, David could. He would say "my soul cries out" or "from the depths of my...". Gut wrenching statements. Every emotion on the table. Nothing hidden or glossed over. This was his trademark if you will of a man who knew how to express himself and his repentance from sin.

If there is anything that I have learned in my years upon this earth, is to admit when you have messed up. Yet, it is still one of the hardest things to do, at least for me. However, whenever I openly admit that I was wrong...that I "sinned"...that I spoke without love, then the joy which comes from the admission and hopefully the repentance is like washing after a day in the hot sun. The stink from going the wrong way is washed away and there is a refreshing which comes like nothing I have ever experienced.

My job in a retail establishment has me listening to country western all day long. Some of the songs need to be flushed in the toilet from whence they came, but there are several which make me cry. One of my favorites is about a father who in a situation cusses in front of his son and then hears his son do the same because the little man wants to grow up to be just like his dad. As the dad feels the sting of his own actions and prays for forgiveness, his son hears his words. Then the story moves to the prayers of a little boy who is pours out his heart to THE Father. When asked by his Dad where he learned to pray like that, the response is that he learned from listening to him.

If you don't think repentance can change your own children and those around you, you are wrong. It is not just regurgitating garbage in order to feel better. It is turning and going the right way. When others see your change, they have the courage like the little boy to do the same.

Perhaps you are a "Dad" to someone you hardly know at work or at church or at the grocery store or where ever you are. Your actions just might help someone else to get a relationship right in their own lives. Like circles in the water, you never know whom you might touch.

A Heavenly Letter

Oh my children.

You who came from me.

You who grew within me.

You are wonderful each and every one of you.

***

You are so different from each other

And that is good.

***

Did the sun and moon and stars quibble at their differences?

Of course not.

What a ridiculous thought.

***

Did they want to be like the other?

Yet, another NO.

***

They each had qualities for their unique purposes.

***

Oh my children.

You do too.

***

You each have a uniquely crafted purpose from the God of the Universe.

It is as though you received a letter in the mail with a golden seal from Heavenly Places.

When you opened that letter, you were humbled and astounded that the Maker of All chose you for a particular purpose.

***

How awed I would be to be asked to do ANY task the King required of me. How awed I would be if He even asked me to clean His table or just to sit at his feet like Mary!

***

Oh, my dear children.

That letter has come to you. The King of the Universe is requesting your presence at His table...the King's table.

He is asking of each of you a particular task with HIS backing and HIS resources and HIS preparing the way.

Now, go forth and do it. You have the King's permission to go forth.

***

Is it any wonder you were birthed with such a name and each of you has a name with meaning and purpose which lines directly up with whatever He has said to you in that letter with the golden seal.

Your name was not copied from a list of people whom He knew not.

Your name was hand written by your Father and the note penned with care and love to a child He absolutely adores.

***

I suspect as He sealed the letter, His seal was a kiss which could only be opened by you.

He eagerly awaits your response. Oh come to Him and abide with Him this day. Let his soft and kind words lead you to the place next to him.

He will whisper into your ear secrets and you two will laugh and enjoy each other just as two friends do.

Oh come to Him who loves you beyond your wildest imaginations. Say YES...say YES!

For the joy of the whole earth,

My mind runs into places unseen and unheard.

For the love of you.

Lord of all and Father so magnificent.

Ruler of all.

Maker of all.

It is into your courtroom I find myself

Day after Day.

Seeking Mercy and help whenever I am in trouble.

It is not as I expect.

My judge is my redeemer and the lover of my soul.

My judge has mercy flowing from his robes

and justice is like a garment

made of the whitest linen one could every imagine.

On his feet there is truth and right standing.

In his hands, those hands which were bloodied and pierced...

Those hands beckon me to come to Him.

In the warmth of His embrace I find rest and know

That no matter what my case, He will judge rightly.

Oh, come with me into the courtroom of He who gave it all for you.

In his place there is mercy freely given.

His judgments are right and He seeks to put us on the right road.

Yet, He will walk with us.

He is right beside us.

Oh enter his courts with praise and give thanks.

May thanksgiving be ever on my lips.

Remind me when my lips stray and my heart falters.

Remind me to chase after what You say and embrace your words as life.

Oh, my Lord and My God, how I love you.

Teach me your ways and reveal to me your very thoughts.

How I long to be with you.

May we sit together,

May we run together,

May we fellowship together,

May we laugh together and cry together.

I never want to be anywhere but with you.

You are my all in all.

I love you.

I love you.